Relationships

Should men open up to women?

Men are being encouraged to “open up”. Is this a good idea?

So women have it this way. They share their doubts and insecurities with a man they first trust, and secondly, a man of strength who can give some assurance. Under no circumstances should a man adopt a woman’s insecurities to be his own, and neither does the woman expect him to. The man must remain a lighthouse to the woman’s wayward yet harmless tide sporadically crawling upon and away from the lighthouse.

About the best times to open up, men may open up to women but only after finding a solution to their problems, and in a manner showing the man knows what he is doing. To get that load off the man’s shoulders, but only for a while as he must bear it until he finds a place to unload it to his advantage. A man must not open up to a woman so that she can come up with solutions to whatever is eating him up. Opening up to women should be only for comfort. But you have to face the discomfort alone; no amount of comfort will will it away. Men have problems to solve; but women interpret men’s problems as doubts and insecurities.  A man with doubts and insecurities is the last thing the woman wants, because she gets that enough from her friends and herself.

After some time of listening to a woman’s doubts and insecurities and often coming up with solutions, a man is lulled into thinking this is a two-way street. So he starts mirroring the woman, telling her his problems which she automatically peels off the packaging to reveal “doubts and insecurities” of the man be they real or perceived. The power dynamics shifts because she realizes her man of strength has weaknesses. The man knows nothing about the hidden connotations only realizing some things change. Respect and the balance of the relationship dwindles, among other things.

Of course this does not apply to mothers, sisters, and relatives. Open up to them all you want. They are on your side. They will offer comfort, wisdom, and some tactics you would have never thought about.